My first attempt at higher education began and ended way back in 1995. For the young ones in the crowd, that might as well be back during the Nixon administration. Here are a few things about 1995 that might drive home how long ago that was:

• The whole OJ Simpson trial circus began
• No one had any idea about the “support” president Clinton was getting from his interns
• Terrorists struck at the heart of the U.S. … homegrown ‘merkin terr’ists, and I’m talking about Oklahoma.
• The first Americans allowed onto spacestation Mir ( happened on my birthday, June 27th )
• Cheryl Crow won a grammy for “All I wanna do” … yes her debut.

Ok, thats enough. Yes, I am getting old. My point is that while all of those things were happening, I was just setting out on the trek to obtain a degree … something I STILL have yet to accomplish. This first attempt would be short lived. I would be back at home trying to get my shit together by early 1996. I simply was not ready for college when I first tried to pull it off. I was an artist – a musician, who foolishly thought he could jump into the world of mathematics and computer science and get by without putting much effort into it. I probably could have pulled off a passing grade if I had tried, but those early years were a time of partying and exploring previously unknown freedoms suddenly bestowed upon me.

For YEARS after that, I lived with this feeling of failure. I was supposed to be earning my degree and the well roundedness that comes from such a struggle. However, I had blown it. After flunking out, I spent a lot of time just working for a living and self-teaching myself the tao of the computer. I would eventually get back into school in 1997, however, I quickly left again in order to seek out what was I was missing – a personal life.

It was in 2000 that I moved to Colorado. I moved in with a group of friends and found a lot that was previously missing in my life. I needed a fresh start. I never forgave myself for my initial failure, and for years to come it would still haunt me a little, however, by forcing myself to sturggle to make my own way in the world I would learn to appreciate what I had and what I earned because it would be mine…bought with my own blood sweat and gnawed off fingernails.

During this time I experienced more “real life” than I had from the entire 1995 – 2000 span. There is a lot to be said about finally leaving the nest and living your own life. After moving to Colorado, I had to wait a year before going back to school because I needed to pay in state tuition prices. During that year, I was sought out for a QA position at Hewlett Packard because I had skills with unix/linux. This was a job posted on a CSU campus message board, and I was chosen because of skills that I had learned only because I had a long time off from school to teach myself. I would continue working for a number of start up companies for the next few years. The money was OK. The experience was tremendous. However, one poorly run start up after another led me back to a personal crisis. I was wasting my time with these start ups that went nowhere, and I was no closer to graduation.

When I made the decision to go back to school, I was working for what has to be the worst manager in the history of managers. I was in a real toxic relationship with my boss. He didnt want to spend a PENNY more on us than he had to because the project we were working on had been in development for years longer than he had originally anticipated. However, he never saw that the reason we were so behind was because he kept on adding one pointless feature after another. I can remember entire sections that were written, only to be rewritten for no good reason later. I got sick of the pointlessness of it all. It is a little sad because me and the other developer on that job ( who is a monkey-genius coder who, like me, has no degree) pulled off some really great stuff considering our complete lack of real prior experience working on large scale web apps. Anyway, one day I had had enough and I decided to let the sinking ship drop where it would, while in the meantime I would get my education.

Two years later and here I am, less than a semester and a half away from graduation. As for the old regrets that haunted me, they are gone. All of my experiences since 1995 have been wirth the trouble. Hell, I managed to find the love of my life during this time. Only now can I see that this is just how I needed things to work out. I like the scenic route, and I like to learn things on my own good time. So, it is safe to say that I am finally content with how I have gotten to where I am today.

That being said, leave it to me to throw a monkeywrench into the works. No, I am not moving again. I am re-working my final semester to allow myself to earn a minor in game design and development on top of my major in computer science. It was originally my desire to develop games that led me into computer science in the first place. Well, UCCS has begun offering a minor in game design, and I feel that I owe it to myself to seek it out and try to reach for my dream, no matter how buried and forgotten it has been over the past 11 years.

I am taking the intro to game development course this semester. Rather than taking graphics, and advanced game development next semester, I am going to take only graphics next semester, and advanced game development in the Fall of 2007. This will allow me time to complete the game development capstone project which will earn me the minor.

This means that by the time I graduate I will have 7+ years of real life ( not self taught ) experience in the field, a BS in computer science, a minor in game development, and THREE games I will have made to pad out my portfolio. On top of this, I am sitting on top of a 3.7 GPA. Considering that 11 years ago I was a naive musician who couldnt even pass college algebra, I cant help but feel proud of what I have accomplished. I guess that sometimes the long road is the only way to go.

I’ve been a long time gone now
Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down
But I’ve always found my way somehow
By taking the long way

Yesterday marked the first day of what will be my final full semester of undergraduate education. I am very excited about that thought, however, I am beginning to think that my schedule this semester will not be quite the cakewalk that I had initially thought it would be. I am taking both compiler design theory, and operating system design in the same semester. To the uninitiated, these two classes are staples of any decent computer science program. These are the classes that separate the men from the boys. They are the proverbial line in the sand, lying between you and your diploma.

Listening to the professor say things like “Attending every class, doing all your homework, and taking the exams is enough to ensure at least a zero in the class” and “Some people have taken this class 5 times in a row and failed every time” was a lot different from the usual “Do what you should and you’ll be fine” pep talks that are handed out along with the syllabus in most cases.

In a twisted way, this excited me. I like the idea of earning my A in this class as some sort of personal badge of honor. However, a large chunk of the introduction was aimed at explaining to us how the compilers class was actually useful, as it seems that many students resent the challenge of the class given that it is very unlikely that they will ever find themselves working on a compiler in the real world. This struck me as extremely short sighted. Every time that I find myself in an esoteric class, I imagine it as a sort of karate kid-like experience. The idea being that the lessons learned in a class like assembly language, while not immediately useful, will translate to better overall understanding of concepts and techniques that will make me a better computer scientist much like washing cars and mopping floors turned lanky Daniel-san into a crane kicking karate bad ass.

I have gotten my fair share of negative feedback about the usefulness of not only compiler design, but my college education as a whole. I usually keep my mouth shut and my thoughts to myself, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that it irks me a little when my accomplishments are decryed to my face. By earning my degree I am proving myself worthy to be employed in this field. By doing so while maintaining a career in the field by working full time as a programmer is at least a little impressive. I am treading where many others have failed under much more forgiving circumstances.  That has to be worth something.
I hate to sound like a pompous jerk, but when I hear someone say things along the lines of “taking compiler design is a waste of time because they will never write a compiler”, it immediately sends me the signal that they have no understanding of the underlying lessons to be learned from the course and likely have no desire to further their abilities as a computer scientist.

I have been working in the industry now since 2001 back when I worked for HP in Fort Collins. I have been programming fairly hard core since as far back as 1995. Maybe I have just been at this for long enough, but I can immediately see a use for the lessons to be learned in compiler design. The first step in writing a compiler is to develop a good lexical analyzer. Basically, this is a program that will recieve some input and split the input up into “tokens” or distinct chunks that have some symbolic meaning. If you plan on being a programmer, get used to this. You will do it a lot. Hell, right now my brother in law is working for a company where their main product basically reads data in from a source and translates the data and splits it out into another source. Id say that a good 90% of that work employs the skills that you use in writing a lexical analyzer.  I could list off a dozen other examples of where I have used those skills while working on a variety of different projects over the years.
Ok, Ill get off my high horse now and hope that I dont screw up this class and make a fool out of myself when I have to make the “Oh crap that was hard!” post in 4 months. I think I will be alright though. It will require focus and a lot of my free time, but at this point I am practically bathing in the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yeah thats right, its a karate chop. KEEEYAI!

I dont know if I ever told anyone this, but back when I registered the domain cacophonic.net I originally wanted to name the site firemonkey.net. I tried to get that domain again recenty but someone beat me to it, and is now using it as a portal for C#/.NET development. ( wtf? )

Anyway, kudos to him for good taste in domain names, and here is a comic about monkeys and fire.

Remember what I said about xbox 360 live arcade and independent developers? Check this out!

Sure its a dumbed down version of their tools, but its a huge step forward for small time developers who want to get their feet wet with development on a console system. The key to all of this is xbox’s live arcade service which gives indie developers a place to sell/give away their creations. I really hope that Sony follows along with this idea.

I know that one of the first posts I made after the site went back up was a venom filled diatribe aimed at Sony and their PS3 release plan. For every ounce of poison in that post, this post will counter it with an ounce of honey … sort of.

I love the PSP. I know that it was an expensive toy when I got it … much like the PS3 will be when I eat some crow with a side of humble pie, and purchase one. And it’s a good thing that I will be eating so much, because I surely wont be able to afford food after I finally do complete that transaction.

Many people are predicting dire things for the PS3 based on what has transpired over this last year between the PSP and the Nintendo DS. Now, I own both handhelds. In fact, there are two PSPs and two DSs in my house because my addiction sometimes manages to get it’s vicious tendrils into my wife as well. However, we are adults. Adults with higher education, and well paying jobs. If I were a child, I MIGHT have a PSP, but only after one hell of an epic struggle with my parents pocketbook. So, I can see why the DS is selling better. People can afford it. From March of 2005 up until a few months ago, the PSP was $299 and new games for it usually started at $49. The DS was $150 and its games were on average $29, with hot titles going for $34 or so.

Early on, the PSP held its own with the DS sales wise. However, beginning last summer, the DS took off and completely slaughtered the PSP in sales. There were many factors that I believe played into this: 1. Nintendo is the handheld gaming king and has been for over a decade now. People remember the gameboy and trust the nintendo name. 2. The DS was the first to come out with lots of color choices and accessories for their system. This might not affect US sales as much, but it is marketing gold for Japan. 3. The nintendogs phenomena. 4. The DS and its games were MUCH cheaper than the PSP. When your system and games cost HALF what the competitions system and games do, it doesnt take much steam to blow by the competition even with games that are half the quality. I personally think that Sony should take a real hard look at the lesson to be learned here.

However, things are a-changin’. The PSPs price is down to $199, and even the hot releases these days arent breaking $39. Also, I am incredibly excited about sony expanding their greatest hits line to include PSP titles. The PSP is a technically superior system compared to the DS by far. Sony also has more money than God himself. This is the pricing scheme that Sony should have had at launch. If they want people to buy their system, it has to hit the sweet spot in the wallet and $199 is a LOT more palatable than $299.

All of that being said, I have no regrets about being an early adopter to the PSP. I love the system to death, and on average I think the games on it are much better than the vast majority of DS titles. You may notice that ther is a little PSP microbutton underneath the post title on every post of the site. Such is my love for the PSP that I stayed up late last night I whipping up a little PSP post reader page for my site. So that if you happen to be reading this on your PSP, click that link and it will cause the post to fit nicely on that beautiful LCD screen.

It was recently announced that Sony would be releasing downloadable games for your PSP. They specifically mention PS1 emulated games you can download and play right on your PSP. Check it here. Now, I have no idea how that will work for most games ( how you gonna download all 4 discs of Final Fantasy 8? ), and what I would really love is a way to transfer the PS1 games I already own to play on the PSP, not be forced to pay for them again. However, this is good news….nay…GREAT news for playstation fans. So, I would like to wrap up this post by listing off some past games that I would love to see Sony repeat history with by bringing them to the PSP.

Vagrant Story
Why this game never got a PS1 sequel, I will never know. It ranks right up there with all the classics in my book. You have a mature, compelling story, probably the best translation I have ever seen done, delivered to you with a rich fantasy backdrop. You have real time Tomb Raider-esq ( minus some of the jumping and acrobatics…) exploration with an innovative and engaging semi-turn based combat system. And the artwork! OH man, I LOVE Yoshida-sama’s work. A PSP sequel of this game with similar art production would kill me.

Soul Calibur Anything
This seems like a given to me. However, namco would have to do it right. With the recent release of Tekken for the PSP, it seems within reach too. Tekken, I love you, but sould calibur is the undisputed king of fighting games in my mind. If we ever do see a PSP release I pray that they dont skimp on the unlockables and modes that make the soul calibur games great. Perhaps namco could add in downlodable content to allow for unlimited expansion. Eh, one can only dream.

Phantasy Star Online
This was a dreamcast title, which means that it requires a bit more umpf in the graphical power department, but I think the PSP is up to the task. One of the best things about the PSP is it’s exemplary WiFi support. I have no delusions of a true MMORPG working out for the system, but the diablo-esq online play of phantasy star online would be PERFECT for the PSP. PSO was not all that revolutionary of an online game, other than the fact that it was one of the first to be released for a console system, and not for PC ( in America anyway ). It could make for an unprecedented experience on a hand held system.

Final Fantasy X
I know that this is a PS2 title, and I doubt that neither UMD has the capacity, nor PSP the power to do it justice, but since this is a dream list, Im throwing it up there. Together Heather and I hace collectively logged over 300 hours in this game, and god only know how much in its direct sequel. Still, I would give anything to be able to play it on the go. The story translation was done by the same guy who did Vagrant Story, the master Alexander O Smith.

This summer I set out to accomplish three things:

• Play and finish some of the games I hadnt finshed yet.
• Catch up on some of my reading.
• Get cacophonic.net up and running again.

Well, I managed to get this site up again, so thats one off the list. Here are some of the games I finished this summer:

Baldurs Gate: Dark Alliance II
This game had a lot to live up to, given how much I enjoyed its predecessor. I dont want to give the impression that I didnt enjoy the game, however, there were many issues I ahd to take up with this sequel. First off, why in God’s name cant I import my character from the first game into this one? I know that the story line explains it, but thats such an obviously cool feature that I cant believe it was neglected. Secondly, the end of the game felt VERY rushed. The 3rd and 4th acts are no where near as long as the 1st and 2nd. Finally, the ending. What the hell was that about? Lets just throw in a couple of guys never even hinted at before and make a half assed attempt at generating excitement for another sequel. Still, its a fun hack and slasher game. Now that its a bargain bin title, Id say its very much worth the price of admission.

God of War
What can I say about god of war that hasnt already been said? Surprise hit game of the year last year, I FINALLY played through it this summer. While the game is amazing, I dont think I quite agree with those who call it perfect. The big boss fights are inspired and incredible, but there are only a few through the entirety of the whole game. Also…the spinning bladed columns in Hades…my GOD, whose idea was this? Annoying as HELL ( no pun intended). Surprisingly, one of the best things about this game is its story. The characters are interesting and not so one dimensional as is usually the case with beat em ups games like this.

Sin Episodes: Emergence
About a week ago I finished this first installment in the new episodically released series from ritual games. Ok, yeah its your typical first person shooter. Yeah, they use some “creative” boobie physics to try and entice the younger male audience into giving it a shot. Yeah, this is obviously a FPS offering living in the immense shadow cast by half life two. However, I was very surprised by the quality and LENGTH of this title. Given that its meant to be a cheap and short first episode of the series, I expected a handful of quick levels followed by a trailer for the next installment. However, this game is actually pretty beefy in terms of length. The story is alright so far, nothing super spectacular, but I have seen worse. The game is fairly repetitive, but then again 99% of all FPS games are repetitive to me. The weapons are few, but for whatever reason, I LOVED the way they felt in this game. By the end of the game I was running down hallways pulling off spectacular head shots and reloads with ease. If you desire a cheap and fun FPS fix, check it out for sure.

Kingdom Hearts
Square-enix is synonymous with quality in my book. Kingdom Hearts is no exception. Being a final fantasy fanatic, I was drawn to this game by the fact that characters from that series appear in it. However, they are intermingled with characters from various disney movies. I’ll admit, at first that sounds just too strange to be good…but it is. I defy you to not be drawn into the story as the characters struggle to save…everything. Ok, the basic plot of pretty standard RPG fare, but there are other reasons to fall in love. The combat system is SUPERB. It combines the viceral thrill of a beat em up style game, with the complexity and satisfaction of standard RPG character advancement. The graphics, the music, and the sheer epic-ness of it all makes this game a must play. After finishing it I jumped right into playing the GBA sequel while Heather started playing the PS2 sequel in earnest. A fairly complex and interesting story is building between the three games and I cant wait to know how it turns out.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Everyone and their grandmother was all over oblivion when it came out. Its no surprise, given the smash hit that was Morrowind ( the prequel ). As a fan of the series who has played every single game it has to offer, I found oblivion completely engrossing and overwhelmingly immersive…at first. I dont want to sound like a whiny elder scrolls fan boy, but oblivion is severely lacking in a couple major areas that really mess up the game for me. First off, the difficulty ramps up as you level up. This is not entirely a bad thing. That dungeon you crawled through at level 3 will be just as hard, if not harder, at level 30. Whats wrong with that? Keeps the player interested, doesnt it? Well, yes and no. It keeps the game from being ruined once you have mastered destructive magic, or found the blade of ultimate death +4. However, it also kills any sense of accomplishment you get from leveling up when it only means that everything around you also leveled up. Plus, by the time you find better equipment, every random encounterd enemy will have similar equipment. So you found that elven chainmail, surely you are cool now. Wrong. Every bandit you run into will also have the same exact elven chainmail too. Youre not special. Still, the game is an amazing feat despite its flaws. I whine about its short comings, but then again I have logged over 80+ hours in it, on multiple characters. Its world sucks you in and allows you to explore and find your own fun if you want. Its the kind of game that I will be playing again and again for years, just because of the “sandbox” aspect to the game world.

Gaming wasnt the only thing I did this summer. I also managed to get in a lot of reading:

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling
By now you are probably either a harry potter fanatic, or you dont see what all the fuss is about. I fall into the initial grouping. Rowling is an amazing writer and her works have turned out what very well may be the best childrens series ever. Once my spring semester ended I made it a point to read a little of book 6 each day. Two days later I have devoured all 652 pages of this monster. Book 6 was better than book 5 in my opinion, but still not quite as good as book 4, which is my favourite of the series thus far. If you have never read any of the harry potter series, I cannot reccomend them more highly.

Starless Night by R.A. Salvatore
From 7th grade through high school, I read many books, but 90% of the time you would find me with my nose buried in a forgotten realms novel. Like everyone else who reads them, I instantly fell in love with Salvatore’s characters through the Icewind Dale and Dark Elf trilogies. I read The Legacy ( the precursor to Starless Night ) in high school, but for whatever reason I sort of stopped reading forgotten realms novels after that. Well, this summer I decided to fix that, and I picked up the collectors edition of this entire sub-series, containing The Legacy, Starless Night, Siege of Darkness, and Passage to Dawn. Once I get going on an engrossing book, I cant stop. Starless night, while not my favorite of Salvatore’s offerings, really struck a nerve with the 8th grader in me. It was an incredibly fun adventure that reawakened my love for these books.

Siege of Darkness by R.A. Salvatore
After finishing Starless Night, I jumped right into Siege of Darkness and didnt stop. For those of you who know something about the Forgotten Realms setting, and understand me when I mention the time of troubles; this book takes place during that time. The dark elves, for whom magic is a fundamental part of life, are thrown into chaos when magic stops working and the Gods walk around in corporeal bodies. This book introduces events that raise questions that never get answered. However, I know these events are still unfolding because when I finished it last night I couldnt help myself and I dove right into Passage to Dawn. The answers are coming, and this whole series of 4 books is rising to what looks to be quite a climax. Wondering what will happen next is driving me to finish this series. I guarantee you that I will have Passage to Dawn done in a matter of days.

Anyway, ill wrap this monster post up now. Just thought I would share with folks what I have been doing lately

I have been working these past few days to get the image gallery up. Originally I planned on using a simple gallery script that I created for the class I took this summer, but I opted instead to give Gallery2 a shot.

I am impressed. It has WAY more functionality than I will ever really need, most likely, but it was a breeze to set up and get going.

Enjoy the pics!

Today, all I did was sleep in, eat a bowl of ramen, and make a logo for Heather’s site. However, while doing this I had music playing the whole time. I usually have music playing in the background while I work, but for some reason today was different. I have been emailing back and fourth with my friend Jason, talking shop about music. In particular we have been talking about The Flaming Lips musical offerings.
This sparked a huge desire within me to re-listen to their works. I dont mean that I just fired iTunes up and queued their albums up to play while my attention was focused on something else. I mean that I put headphones on and listened to both yoshimi and At War with the Mystics straight through, picking up on new nuances of the sound and taking notice of the sort of “feeling” each passage conjured up in my mind.

The purpose — the beauty — of art, music in particular to me, is to evoke emotion. Great music gets under your skin. When the needle hits the vinyl, the mechanical process of your brain translating the vibrations of your inner ear begins, but great music goes further. Great music forces your brain to take that sound and begin painting a picture on your mental canvas. This picture is your own personal, unique and subjective experience. The creation of this experience in your head is the crux of what it is that makes music beautiful.

The etymology of the word music traces its origins back to mousa, the Greek word for muse. So it would seem that this connection we have with the power of noise has been reflected upon for ages. That is a beautiful thought to me. Check out the wikipedia entry on the definition of music. It mentions how music used to be taught as a section of mathematical studies. There were three levels of music: Musica Universalis, Musica humana, and Musica Instrumentalis. Musica Universalis being the mathematical precision and order of the universe, as God created it. Musica Humana wasmore or less the reflection of Gods perfection in the human body. Musica Instrumentalis is the manifestation of the universes perfection by the human creation of sound.

It fascinates me that this ancient outlook on music seems to explain the almost mystical affect that music has on the human mind.

So next time you power up your iPod and slip the earbuds in, take a minute to appreciate how a song makes you feel. Then take a moment to appreciate just how important the artists and dreamers to our society.

So, yeah…I listened to a lot of Flaming Lips today and I feel an infatuation coming on. I have been “listening” to their music since high school, but now I am REALLY listening and its like re-discovering some long lost collection of artificats in my brain.

As the dawn began to break – I had to surrender
The universe will have its way – too powerful to master

So I randomly decided to seach google for “cacophonic” and see what came up. MUCH to my surprise, the 6th hit was this very site. However, its cached not as the site you see before you, but the site as it was for years prior to this summer. You see, I used to have a different cacophonic.net. Then one day the evil people at Dayana host suddenly cut me off and accused me of hacking, running an IRC bot, eating babies, etc. To this day, I have no idea how someone broke into that account because the account wasnt even supposed to have shell access. Anyway, Dayana host wouldnt tell me what happened to my account, and they were quite rude with me over the phone and in email. So, I dumped their sorry asses and found a new host closer to home.

…Im rambling. My point is that after I relocated to the new server, I didnt bother putting the old site back up. However, I did put up a single div to test out some long gone CSS and javascript code on. All this div said in it was “This is a div…” Fascinating story, I know…I guess I was just amused that the 6th most relevant link on google for the phrase “cacophonic” returns a page that is just about as uncacophonic as you can get.

Its picture time! [click the image for a better resolution]

[ click here to see the cached google version of the site in all its stupid glory]

…man I must be bored.

Finally, I am done with my summer class. For those who do not know, I took a single summer class this summer. By doing so, I only need 4 classes this fall, followed up by two classes in the spring and then I will have my degree. So I decided on CS301 – Web Programming for my summer class. Now, given that I spent nearly 4 years working on a major wep app for a doctor out here in Colorado, its no surprise that this class was a breeze for me. I took it more for the elective credit than for the learning experience. Still, brushing up on your fundamentals cant hurt.
However, that didnt stop my professor from trying to thwart my A grade in the class at every opportunity. Homework in the class accounted for 40% of our grade. I earned a 100% on the first two, no problem. However, the professor seemed to skip my grades on #3 and 4. The 5th homework was the last one and I turned it in early and got an email back from him saying that I had earned another 100% on it as well. I emailed him multiple times after that asking about my missing grades on #3 and 4, and not until today…the day of the final…did I get my grades for them. Whats more, he docked me 10 points on #4 for something that I did exactly right. I ended up getting that corrected, but it was yet another pain in the ass to deal with.

Todays final contained 5 questions, of which only the 4 beat ones would be counted. The topics the final covered were XML,XSL, and DTDs, PHP, and MySQL. …total cakewalk. However, there was a question on the exam that more or less was this: “What was the mysql command used on homework #5?” Now, homework 5 had us create a database and 3 different tables. There were a handful of mysql commands on homework #5. Besides, what kind of final question is that? Basically it boiled down to remembering the command for logging into mysql with “mysql -u < user > -p …”. I wonder why he didnt just word the question like “What is the command for logging into mysql on the web server?” …or something like that. The mind boggles.

Anyway, I am done now so it hardly matters. Im looking forward to a few weeks of relaxing before I head back into the fray to take on Operating Systems and Compiler Design.

…Your circuits dead, theres something wrong
Can you hear me, major Tom?